


Why Potholes Exist?

by Jadiona



Series: Life and Death Continuation [12]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Parody, anecdote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadiona/pseuds/Jadiona
Summary: An amusing little anecdote on why there are potholes in roads. This short story was inspired by a scene written in Chapter 11 – Cult of my story, Death and Rebirth, but has no direct relation to that story.





	Why Potholes Exist?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.
> 
> AN: Just remember, this is fiction.

For the vast majority of the world, vampires were merely a myth, a shadow in the dark, but for the United States government, they were very real. The government had known about the existence of vampires for over two hundred years. Over the years they had used their own personally employed vampires for a number of things – both big and small – from help developing weapons of mass destruction to the thought process behind Elvis Presley's second grave.

One thing in particular that vampires were responsible for was getting more tax money out of the American people. One of the quickest ways to do that was to make potholes on major highways. It convinced people to agree to higher taxes in order to pay for reparation of the roads and it forced cars out of alignment, which would either send people to auto-shops to get the cars repaired or force them to go buy a new car... and if the potholes caused accidents on occasion – well, that only drummed up business to things like Insurance and Lawyers. For the United States government, it made the whole situation a win-win.

It was in this light that a statuesque male vampire drove along Interstate 80 and waited for the one in the front passenger seat to tell him to pull over.

The vampire in the front passenger seat wasn't quite five foot tall with short-cut hair. No one was quite sure of the androgynous vampire's gender. The vampire never told anyone its gender or its name, in fact it rarely spoke, period. The only time it did, was to give the ones it rode with directions.

As they drove east out of Nebraska heading towards Chicago, the androgynous one signaled to stop suddenly and the driver immediately pulled to the side of the highway, stopping and shutting off the engine.

A muscular vampire hopped out of the back of the car as the androgynous vampire gave him instructions to go halfway between the white and yellow lines on the right side of the road and make a two-foot wide hole there – because the androgynous vampire foresaw that it would cause a lot of damage in the months that followed.

The vampire went to where he was told smashing his fist into the ground right in the center of the road. The giant hole that the force behind his blow caused was slightly larger than two-foot wide – much to the androgynous vampire's annoyance. He shrugged and returned to the car.

The driver started the car back up, and they continued on their way to make the next hole.


End file.
